About two weeks ago, I blogged about the Live Mesh Tech Preview.

As you can’t have failed to have noticed, Microsoft recently had their annual PDC conference and announced a plethora of new products and technologies (Windows 7, Windows Azure, Live Services, etc).

The new version of Live Mesh was one of the big items.  If you’re a developer – you’ll get a lot more excited by the info here.

If you’re a general IT user or IT pro, then you’ll be pleased to see what Mesh now offers.

Expanding from my original blog posting, the new Live Mesh Beta offers:

Support for Mac OS X (10.5.1 or higher): Mesh is becoming truly multi-platform, allowing you to group and access all of your information together, irrespective of platform.

Support for Windows Mobile (6.0 or higher): Even on the move, Mesh is supported on your phone.  I have it installed on my main phone and “emergency” phone – see the screenshot above of the devices now in my Mesh.  Right now – any photos I take on my phones automatically enter my Mesh and get synchronised onto the cloud and onto my main Tablet PC.  I can also dump “CD of the week” into my Mesh folder on my notebook, which gets synchronised back onto the two phones.

Support for WAP access: browse to http://m.mesh.com to access your Mesh files from your WAP-enabled phone.  Although not as rich as Windows Mobile (as there’s probably no support for Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc), you can probably still view pictures and listen to music from your phone.

Three Member Roles: Readers are members who can only, well, read folder contents.  Contributors can view, add and change but not invite new people to a Mesh folder.  Owners can do, well, anything.

P2P Sync: Yes – now you can set machines to sync directly to another machine through Live Mesh, but without the files ending up on your Live Desktop (and hence, eat into your current 5GB quota).  So – I can now set my Windows Media Center box at home to sync all of my TV recordings directly onto my Tablet PC.  Even better – I can sync these recordings through Mesh to my sister in Edinburgh, instead of periodically sending her DVDs of TV recordings.  I can even P2P sync to multiple devices, should I require!

Drag and Drop: Your Live Desktop will allow you to drag and drop files from your own PC onto the folders that run within your Internet browser.  Treat your web browser as any other computer folder!

There are many more features in Live Mesh, but I’ve described the core new ones (that I haven’t already covered in my earlier blog).

Live Mesh has certainly changed the way that I work.  A few good examples of how my life is made easier:

• As I mentioned previously, I keep all my OneNote notebooks and Internet Explorer Favorites synchronised between all of my computers.  It doesn’t matter whether I log onto my home PC, my Tablet PC or my Windows Media Center PC – all my OneNote data and IE Favorites are consistently synchronised.  I can choose to sync any number of folders between any number of machines, if I so choose (with no limitations).
• I keep important “current-work” files synchronised onto my Live Desktop within Mesh.  This is my 5GB storage “on the cloud”, so to speak.  The files are backed up here, but are also accessible anywhere.  Should I need to log onto a client PC to access a particular file, I can do so.
• I can share folders to anyone I choose.  I’ve already cited an example of how I can share my TV recordings with my sister, who lives 120 miles away.  I also have files relating to another business I help out in my spare time – the Live Mesh folders mean we don’t need to keep e-mailing files across, and I’m always guaranteed the latest version of any file/folder that has been tagged as a Mesh folder.

Mesh will continue to grow in functionality but, even in its current beta state, it’s a fantastically solid, reliable and extremely useful technology.  Synchronising save games across many PCs, or photos with family, is all seamless, easy and accessible.

Dear RandomStan,

Salutations and greetings!  It’s been a long time since we last spoke, and I thought that this would be a suitable time to drop a quick e-mail to catch up with you.  You might vaguely remember me – such has been the passage of time in the interim.  I’m the sensible, well-mannered aspect of your personality – just nickname me Anti-RandomStan.

I’ve been in a privileged position (you know, as part of your personality) to have read your recent blogs, overheard your recent conversations, and observed your general behaviour.  I know it has been a long time since we discussed this last but… I was wondering if I might yet again appeal to your better-natured side to strive for a bit more tolerance and maturity?

I’d like to think that we’re aspiring to live in a more enlightened age.  Especially given your background of excellent education and upbringing at Robert Gordon’s College (recently placed 1st in the Financial Times league of Scottish Schools), I had expectations that you would be a shining example of tolerance, understanding and political correctness.  Alas, I feel that you might have meandered (inadvertently, I hasten to add) somewhat away from this aspiration.

Given the furore surrounding the confluence of recent events; it did motivate me to contact yourself and set forth once again my general appeal to you.  Surely the media and public reaction around the controversial voicemails that Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross recently made have proved beyond doubt that there is no place in today’s society for negative behaviour and uncomplimentary comments?  Indeed – on a more personal level, you’ve taken your offences to a whole new level where associates are resorting to leaving negative feedback on your blog!

My personal stance (in an utterly non-condemning way, of course) is that I don’t believe it is suitable to crack vague “jokes” surrounding anyone’s misfortune (regardless of whether it has happened, or may happen).  I pick a few of your recent jibes to illustrate my point:

• You recently started indicating your distaste around “Christmas” marketing.  Although you may not realise, this may offend non-Christians – regardless of whether they follow other religions, or choose not to believe in religion at all.  I would recommend that you call this forthcoming period the “non-denominational festive period”, to more accurately reflect today’s mixed society and to ensure no offence is caused.
• You also crack comments around the matter of AIDS.  (Actually – it appears that you just like uttering the word, as if it were some sort of fashionable catch-phrase.)  Again – think of the people whose lives have been devastated by this terrible scourge.
• You most recently blogged about the forthcoming Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 game.  I should point out that this game carries a whole baggage of negativity.  From the stereotyping of the Japanese and Russians to the portrayal of war – indeed, this game manages to potentially offend people both in terms of race, as well as trivialises those many billions who have either died or otherwise been negatively impacted by war.  Have we not yet had enough death through war to realise it for the obscene concept that it is?  Yet we continue undeterred to these lessons – playing war-games and shooting people as if it were socially acceptable.
• Infertility and still-born jokes are, well, just in bad taste.  How many lives have been devastated due to these factors?  Millions of women around the world live their lives in fear of these awful circumstances – to trivialise it with unnecessary jibes is just, well, uncouth!

You argue recently that you are “pushing boundaries”, and that there are differing opinions on tolerances.  However, you appear not to have realised that no negative behaviour should be tolerated.  It is equally offensive to joke about infertility and AIDS as it is to force upon the concept of “Christmas” to non-Christians or to shoot at people in games while there are people being shot at in real life in our city streets!

As has been demonstrated amply by the Brand/Ross Radio 2 outrage and recent electronic communications – it does not matter if the victim himself/herself is offended or not – it does matter when people take it upon themselves to be offended on other peoples’ behalf.  After all – only 2 people initially complained about the Brand/Ross incident, until it hit the mainstream press and full public indignity erupted!

In today’s society – it is perfectly acceptable to be offended on other peoples’ behalf – it is what helps us on our path to a more tolerant and understanding society.

My plea to you is to become a model citizen.  Resist dropping negative comments to people, and generally become tolerant, understanding and encouraging.  Feel free to step in when you think offence may be caused, as this will undoubtedly provide food for thought to others, bringing them to introspectively reflect on their own behaviour.  Become, as they say in society, as Politically Correct as one can possibly aspire to be!

As well as being an entreaty, I encourage you to view this as a challenge!  My non-offensive challenge to you, sir, would be to spend the next two weeks (from midnight of the 30th October to midnight of the 13th November) to be as upstanding a citizen as you can possibly be.  Champion the cause of political correctness, and strive not to cause offence!  I understand that you are not a particularly charitable person (which, I hasten to add, is not an offence-causing criticism – just a general observation on a particular facet of your overall unique and special personality).  Therefore, I will also appeal to your more materialistic side – if you can maintain my challenge of two weeks of political correctness, I will allow you to purchase a new toy.  I know (being, you know, a part of your overall personality) that you keep a stash of money hidden in your sister’s underwear drawer (which you ostensibly claim to be a safe place to hide cash, whereas I would posit that you put money there so that you can fondle your sister’s panties in the darkness under the guise of searching for some pocket money) – I would agree to your spending no more than £3,000 of that money to buy yourself a 64-bit Tablet PC that I know you have been hankering after.  Every time you become bitter and cynical, and are just desperate to drop a lewd or offensive comment, divert your tension by thinking of the productivity-enhancing benefits that a 64-bit Tablet PC with 8GB RAM could bestow upon you!

I sincerely hope that you accept my challenge, and would wish you the absolute best of luck!

Many warm regards

Anti-RandomStan

---

Dear RandomStan

“Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker!  You’re a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucker…”  What?!?  I’m merely quoting from the South Park movie!

Blah blah blah blah.  What a long-winded, stupidly pointless rant-letter.  Yada-yada-yada.  As I said before, I quite enjoy pushing boundaries, and I still firmly believe that no topic should ever be out of bounds.  If we’re worried about cracking jokes around paedophiles, rape and infertility, then surely we should also be equally offended about jokes around poverty, war, and religion (because, you know, millions of people have died from the latter – and thus it’d be equally offensive to trivialise those).

But… I accept your challenge.  For two reasons:

1. Yes – a shiny new 64-bit Tablet PC would just be great.  I can’t technically justify buying one, but I think it would be a suitable reward for two weeks of total tolerance and utter political correctness and,
2. I personally think that an utterly politically correct RandomStan would bug the hell out of everyone – it’d get utterly annoying, and I think I’d get kicks just for doing that!

You know, I was kinda disappointed a few weeks ago when I was getting drunk, looking for an epiphany, and thinking I didn’t get one.  Over recent days, I come to realise that I possibly had one of the best ever…

“Yes.  I’m a dick.  And I enjoy being a dick.”

And on that note – brace yourself for two weeks of Politically Correct RandomStan!

Yours (with hugs and smooches)

RandomStan

P.S.  I should point out that I’ve already planned a social event around the US Presidential Elections, so will agree to your challenge on the caveat that the Tue/Wed of 4th/5th Nov is not included in your challenge.  I will, after all, be around similarly like-minded immaturity, so feel that no offence would be caused in any case.  Ta!

George Takei: “All Your Base… Are Belong to Us!”

Tim Curry: “You like the beautiful Girls?  Me too!”

JK Simmons: “Cowboy style…”

Gina Carano: “Sounds kinda kinky!”

Jonathan Pryce: “Good God!”

+ Cybernetic Bears.  + Guerrilla Dolphins.  + Psionic Japanese Schoolgirls.

WTF?!?

Reasonable (and not so reasonable) actors indulging in deliberately cheesy acting?  Overt sexualisation of hardcore women?  War…?

Well – it can only be one thing.  The latest instalment in the mad fun that is Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3.  Go watch the cheesiest, coolest video game trailer ever…

Ahh… what a hark back to that random All Your Base phenomenon…!

Jings!  I turn my back for two seconds, and everyone lets their imaginations run riot like uncontrollable children!

Just to clarify, the comment ping-pong from a few threads back was not because I was dropping stillborn comments around someone who had recently lost a child.  Nay – it wasn’t even around any stillborn jibes in the first place.

I’m half-offended that people would think that I’d stoop to that level, but probably more self-satisfied that my language is so random that people could quite easily contemplate that I mutter these things in those circumstances… ;)

Infertility, though… That’s where all the action is about.  Yes – you’re all infertile…

And you probably have AIDS.  Bad AIDS too, not good AIDS.

[OK, so maybe a very select subset of people who read that will understand what I’m wittering about.  And I think an even smaller subset of people will appreciate the resurgence of this random reference…  My fragile and easily-influenced mind is obviously hanging out with the wrong crowd… ;)]

“Your premium is shown below and I am sure you will be delighted with the value for money our policy provides.”

£7,554.40 for annual car insurance is “value for money”?!?

Alright, so maybe I don’t have a perfect track record.  Before the Audi A3 Sportback, I did write off my Vauxhall Astra, and managed to land it on its roof.  (I was unscathed, bar a sore thumb, in case you were wondering…!)

And yes, I guess I do have 6 points for speeding thus far (all accumulated in the A3, a car that was half as powerful, and a quarter of the price, of my current car).

But still - £7,554.40.  “value for money”.

I think not.

… Is a phrase I might not need to shout for much longer!

Microsoft fan-boy that I am, I’m bound to have one of these new-fangled Microsoft Surface units that I blogged about earlier.  It’s more than likely to be next to my bed, so that I can stream my collection of donkey porn from my Windows Home Server straight to my bedside, allowing me to get my rocks off all over an easy-wipe Surface.

All that, er, exercise sure gets tiring though.  So I’d probably have a glass of hot milk on a corner of the Surface.  Knock a bit of donkey action, have a glug of hot milk, knock a bit more donkey action, then another sip of hot milk – you know how it goes.  Before you realise it – you’re out of hot milk, and your flow is interrupted (so to speak).

No longer!  For, with SurfaceWare’s research, my Surface unit could easily notify mother-dearest to bring around another glass of hot milk just as it’s required!  Donkey appreciation continues uninterrupted!  Huzzah for technology, for (this) man’s life is truly enhanced!

Unimaginatively, one may posit (as the video above does) that this is excellent technology to be used in a pub or restaurant.  This might work in the US (the land of the fawning staff - even if it is somewhat fake courtesy), as at least they attempt to be polite and continually see if they can pawn more food and drink in your general direction.

However, in the “I don’t give a shit” culture of the UK, it’s bad enough trying to get served while you’re actively queuing at the bar, and almost impossible to attract a waiter’s attention when you’re sitting in a restaurant.  The fantasy of having UK waiting staff come and refill your drinks when a computer indicates is, well, a fantasy – our indifference to customer service will ensure that something like SurfaceWare Refill will never gain traction here, outside of the bedroom.

Well – it’s been a bit of a long-winded few days…  But at last, it all culminates into this – why I behave the way that I do…

Regardless of whether people agree or disagree with me (hey, it’s your prerogative and your right to do so!), I’d like to sum up first by stating, in a most clichéd manner, that I am who I am.

Without sounding too mock-philosophical, I find that people are very complex beings and yet, are extremely simple at their core.

What drives me in life, and I assume what drives everyone in life, is the need to have fun.  Stripping away all the mechanisms to achieve this, like money and responsibility and family, everyone is driven by the need to have fun.

The complexity lies in what fun actually is, and how we get there.  For some people – it’s having a family, and being able to spend time with them.  For others, it’s about earning money and using it to buy items or holidays that are out of reach for the mere masses.  For others still, it is about celebrity and adulation – the need to be recognised and respected.

Everyone has a very unique combination of what is fun, and what mechanisms they use to get there.  What I find… interesting, though, is how people try and keep their little parcels of fun segregated…  The majority of people I know have four general personas – their personal life (of which they will hardly ever share with anyone, not even those closest to them), their family life, their social life and their professional life.  There is always overlap, of course, but I don’t think I’d be generally remiss to state that people may do or say one thing in one life, yet not at all in another.  As an example that may resonate with a lot of folk: what they say about their workplace to their friends in their social life is very different to what they say to their workmates and managers when face-to-face with them in their professional life.

I guess it must be a form of self-preservation – by limiting the damage and cross-over from one life to the other, people probably feel safer and more secure in any particular circle, and thus can continue to maximise their facility for fun.  After all, if some of your fun is derived from buying needless tangible toys or spending time with your children, then surely telling your crappy boss what you really think of him/her (i.e. what you’d have no problems telling your mates at the pub) is hardly likely to enhance your ability to buy even more needless tat or your ability to feed your kids, is it?

I’m… a bit different.  I’d like to think of myself as being slightly less risk-adverse (or just plain stupider) than most folk.  Y’see, I treat my Professional, Family, and Social lives as one and the same.  There is nothing I would not do nor say in front of, say, my parents that I wouldn’t do in front of friends, staff or clients.

Naturally (and like everyone else), I still have certain Personal thoughts that I’ll keep to myself – that is, unless they find the bodies and I’m forced to share the info otherwise…  But aside from that, I personally don’t see the point of segregating the various aspects of your personality.

This, naturally, irks a lot of people – I’m quite vocal with my thoughts, and I also let slip many, many MindWrongs that undoubtedly abrades a lot of folk.

Due to this openness, I’m sure that many people view me (possibly quite rightly) as arrogant, stubborn and petulant.  I am, in equal measures, terribly immature and inappropriate.  I accept that this can cause, and has caused, damage and offence – how could it not?  That’s why most people keep these aspects of their lives segregated.

For me, though, it is a worthwhile trade-off in my continued efforts, like everyone else, to have fun.  The blurring, nay – actual removal, of these boundaries are what allow me to enjoy my professional life as much as my social life (and my family life, whatever that may constitute).  It is why the drive to spend time in the office is equal to the drive to spend time with friends or vegging out at home – to me, it’s all very much one and the same, and I have no preference for one over the other.

This makes my life not only tolerable, but very enjoyable.  I enjoy the work that I do (OK – I’d enjoy it a bit more if there weren’t so many different piles of paperwork to shuffle, but you get the idea).  I enjoy playing with Hyper-V technologies as much as I enjoy playing Halo 3, which is about as much as I enjoy getting outrageously drunk and doing silly things.

However, there is a very delicate balance between these three lives, and one made particularly difficult when you decide to mix them all together.  The commitment and responsibilities you have in one life (say, your professional life), should not have a detrimental impact on another (say, your family life).  With established boundaries and compartmentalisation, this should be fairly easy to juggle – in your professional life, you spend 9-5, M-F doing work (with occasional overtime) and then you go home, switch off, and enjoy family/social life.

When you mix and match all three, as I have chosen to do, you must be very careful not to do one thing at the detriment of another.  It’s all fine to get pissed and run riot every evening at a training course, but an altogether bad thing if it’s done to the detriment of anyone else on your course, or at the expense of your boss (who still has to foot the bill if you fail).  Again – if you’re planning to get pissed over the weekday, you had better be sure this isn’t to the detriment of your work or clients.

I put my hands up, and say that I have occasionally got this wrong.  And I will continue to get it wrong – no-one can claim to be perfect, can they?  However, as long as you work hard to keep things in balance, and get it right most of the time, well – surely that works, right?

If it hasn’t worked, or if I haven’t got it right, then let me know!  I’m quite open, frank and arrogant.  Therefore, I’m quite happy for others to be arrogantly open and frank to me.  Give me a kick in the nadgers if I’m getting it wrong – otherwise I’ll be living my fun life/lives in blissful ignorance!

Going back to where I started – I want to say again that I am who I am.  It’s not an apology, nor is it an excuse.  It’s simply a statement of what path I have chosen, and how openly I have chosen to lead my life.  For me, there is no distinction between family and friends and work.  There is nothing that I would do, or say, or jibe about, in one group that I would not do in another.  I accept that it will irk some folk.  I accept that it will confuse/bemuse others.  As long as it does not cause considerable offence, and does not impact on my ability to deliver to folk in any of these three lives, then I’m going to continue happily living my fun life the way I currently am.

I sometimes wish that people were as comfortably open as myself, but I understand very much why they may choose not to do so (and I also understand why others view me as simply insane).  It’s personally vindicating, though, to see that Orange’s new message is very much similar to my own – just aspire to be comfortable with who you are, regardless of who you’re presenting yourself to.

I’m happy with who I am, and I feel no need to hide bits of my personality because it might be deemed “immature” or “inappropriate”.  That’s it in a nutshell, really.

[You probably should have scrolled through the entire text to read that last paragraph – it’d have negated the need to read the rest of my diatribe.]

Following on from yesterday’s missive, I guess the next biggest thing which gets me funny glances is the level of sheer inappropriateness that I often blurt out…

After all, I’m guessing that not many people would intimate on their publically-viewable blogs that they get fellated by their own mother (or is it that I fellate my mum – I can’t tell, such is the level of my inexperience).

Yes – I’m a terribly inappropriate person.  No subject matter is too taboo – religion, infertility, stillborns, recent deaths, sexual acts with family members – there is nothing that I won’t stoop to.

So… Why?  Why?!?

Well (and you’ll note the common theme from yesterday’s post), it’s all about having fun.  Really.

There are too many folk these days taking life too seriously.  The Politically-Correct Brigade are rapidly turning this country into some terrible 1984-esque Orwellian “tolerance-zone”, where nobody is allowed to mutter, well, just about anything lest it offend people (coming up to the festive season, we’re all more than aware that many schools and businesses ban the word “Christmas”, lest it offend people of other religions).

People become, well… boring, when they aren’t trying to push boundaries.  I really believe that pushing boundaries of acceptability is what makes part of life fun.  We all did it, once – remember as a kid when you used the “f*ck” word?  You knew perfectly well that your parents and teachers would frown upon (or even discipline) you for being such a naughty child.  And then, you got to university (or secondary-school, for the early starts), where you’d mumble the offence-causing “c*nt” word, much to your shameful glee.

Since when did people feel the need to grow up and to stop all of this inquisitive pushing?  F*ck and C*nt are pretty much used in everyday language now – indeed, there’s probably not a live comedy act where these words aren’t uttered.  So, I dunno about anyone else, but I still feel the need to push, and push, and push.  And that’s where my socially unacceptable utterances come from.  I know it’s wrong to talk about stillborn to pregnant women, to make lewd sexual suggestions to my own sister – the fact that it’s wrong is what continues to give me the shameful glee and fun that I used to derive as a kid!

OK – there have been occasions where it goes wrong.  Certainly, I have managed to cause major offence.  And really, I’m genuinely apologetic when this happens.  But, I’m not going to stop.  Most of the time, it doesn’t cause offence, and you’d be surprised by how much one can get away with!  Hey – so far I haven’t yet been punched in the face for any of my slanderous utterings, but I may change my tune one day when it (eventually, and probably deservedly) happens!

It is, for me, allowing my inner child to continue to rebel – in my mind it’s the adult equivalent of using the F and C words, which have long since lost their impact.

It makes life, well, interesting and fun.

There are so many people out there who take life far too seriously, who worry about everything they do and say, and worry about everything that happens – regardless of whether it is in their control or not.  People bottle themselves up for fear of offending – they become bland, boring, characterless sheep.  It’s so very disappointing to see people reign themselves in – typically, it’s only when they’re very drunk does the immature, boundless part of their personality come forth.

Shame, really… :(

For the record, I do appreciate that there’s a very delicate line to be drawn (which I cheat and try to push back as much as I can).  Crossing this line causes great offence, and I’ve been there before.  Genuinely, I never mean to cause any real offence – just enough to cause great consternation and disdain, but never any genuine emotional upset.  So yes - (and this is really the only time you’ll hear this from me), I do apologise to anyone out there who may have been genuinely offended by what I randomly come out with.

But otherwise, I’ll continue down my path of being completely incorrigible.  All through my school days, I was (like everyone else) told to grow up.  I’m still constantly being told to grow up.  This, to me, is a great vindication, and a sure sign that I’ve yet to lose my perspective of fun!

OK.  So – if I were to do a bit of self-introspection, I guess that one of the first things I would ask is:

“Why on earth do you behave so immaturely?  What’s with acting like a juvenile 5-year-old?”

An easy answer, this.  Because it’s fun.  I’ll get into a lot more detail about the mixing of “fun” in my life on my third posting, but just take it as read – I derive great fun from being immature.

I think that, for most people, there is a time and a place to have fun.  Fun is something you do socially with friends, or with the family.  Fun is generally not something you do at work, although we all appreciate that there are a blessed few whose work environment positively fosters fun.

Wait… right there.  You agreed with the first part of that paragraph, yeah?  Cool.  You agreed with the last part of that paragraph?  Well, shame on you.

In my opinion, you are not “blessed” with a work environment that positively fosters fun.  No-one is.  What these environments have is people who are willing to make it fun.  It is very much an obvious and clichéd statement, but life is what you make it.  Therefore, make your work more fun.

For me, fun is being juvenile, it’s about doing childish pranks and committing to acts of stupidity.  As long as it doesn’t impact on people, work, or clients, then what’s the harm?

An example: after I dropped out of university, I got a part-time job with Total (Total Oil Marine, as it was back then).  It was a short contract summer job for first-line technical support (well, what else could you get as a university drop-out who had no real qualifications).  It was also around the time that Intel launched it’s then-new Itanium processor.  This was a big-deal for me – not because I would ever use it, or the company I was currently working in would ever buy one (at the time) – no, it was because it was a fantastic new product from Intel, and I strongly believed that I needed to raise awareness of it within the company.  So – what did I do?  Well, I downloaded a high-res image from Intel’s press site, and printed it in A1-size paper (yes, I abused company resources).  I then wore it as a cape, and spent one day wandering around the Total offices in Altens with my Itanium cape, telling those who I was meeting/supporting what the Intel Itanium was about, and why they should be excited.  I even remember skipping (yes – actual run/skip motions) down the off-limits Executive Corridor with my Itanium cape.  Weirdly enough, I didn’t get fired.  If I did, it would have been no great loss – who wants to work in a humourless company, after all (it wasn’t as if I was causing anyone any harm or offence)?  Instead, at the end of my contract period, I got asked if I would like to extend it, and to take a new position coordinating technical support for their Office 2000 rollout.  That’s right – Itanium Man got a promotion and, as a university drop-out, was responsible for managing a small support team which comprised of contractors who were nearly twice my age.  Needless to say, I accepted!

Having fun in work is risky – it always is…  You will find a few who will join you but, by and large, you just need to make sure that people can tolerate you.  As long as you make acceptable compromises, and ensure you don’t negatively impact work or clients, then all works out well.

A few months back, I had to spend weeks pushing for my new job title.  After all, Grand Poobah of Technology Evangelism is hardly a serious job title, is it?  I’ve been told by those in the office that the oil industry is one which is entirely humourless, and one which will not accept my irreverent job title.  Pah, said I.  After much back and forth, I now have two sets of business cards.  I can indeed call myself a Grand Poobah, but I also have a staid set of “serious” cards (which, funnily enough, I’ve yet to actually hand out to anyone).  But at least I’ve made the compromise, and can continue to have fun as it suits.

I don’t much like pointless rules, or conformity for conformity’s sake.  I don’t respect job titles, or job positions.  That’s not to say I don’t respect the people – it’s just that one can only tolerate so many “Technical Architects” or “Marketing Managers” or “Customer Satisfaction Providers”.  And thus, as my two-fingers up to the pointlessness of job titles (it’s the person and the work they produce that count, not the bloody title they’ve been given), I have called myself the Grand Poobah of Technology Evangelism, the most meaningless and self-important job title that I could muster at the time.

I digress somewhat.  What am I trying to say?  Well, just have fun!  If you’re not enjoying work, then find an avenue to make it fun.  If your social life is somewhat lacking – well, get your phone book out and make plans!  For instance, I’ve booked a two-day holiday on the 4th/5th November (school days, so to speak) to have a drinking competition around the US Presidential elections.  I’ll be working weekends and evenings to compensate, but the point is that I/we plotted to have fun, and have made a few compromises to ensure that it happens.

Oh – and try not to offend people.  OK, so I try to be as offensive as possible, but not to the point where someone is genuinely offended.  You’d be surprised at how much offence you can give, even about the most unspoken and unsavoury subjects, without actually causing offence (but more on that tomorrow).

People may believe that there is a time and a place for fun, and that you can’t have fun all the time.  I have a different outlook – I think that one should derive fun from anything that one can.  Personally speaking, work would be pointless if I wasn’t enjoying it and having a laugh.  It’s the reason I do random things like combine Tartare Sauce with HobNobs.  It’s why I have Pokémon scattered around my desk.  Just… make sure it doesn’t impact your work or your responsibilities.

My immaturity and juvenility allow me to enjoy my work.  It also allows me to more enjoy my personal and family life – it still cracks me up to see the utter disdain/bemusement on my sister’s face when I mutter something completely inappropriate and lewd to her (more on Stan the Inappropriate tomorrow).

So there it is.  Selfishly, I could say that this is my life, and I have the right to lead it as I choose.  And certainly, I will state that.  My goal is to have fun and, for me, it’s all about being childish and immature.

I’ll add a caveat, however, and say that it’s not my intent for my behaviour to cause any detriment to anyone else’s life (whether it be deliverables at work, relationships with clients, or friendships with, well, friends) – if you have been affected then really, you should let me know, otherwise I’ll continue onwards as always!

Hurrah for Stan the Immature.  Right – I’m off to listen to the soundtrack to Pokémon 3 (the album has an excellent remix of the Pokémon Johto theme tune) on the drive back home, before snuggling into bed with Teddy, Teddy2, and Dizzy Devil).

I think that lately, people have been wondering if I am going (even more) insane.

I’ve certainly had comment from friends, clients, and work-mates about some of the stuff that I have recently done, said or blogged.  I thought I might take a step back, then, and spend the next three blog posts trying to communicate to everyone why I behave the way that I do.

Today, I’ll account for “Stan the Immature”.  Tomorrow, it’ll be “Stan the Inappropriate”, and I’ll close with “Stan the Individual”, which really wraps everything up.  The combination of all three should, hopefully, provide you with an insight to my personal outlook on life.

I don’t think of myself as a complicated person, so this should all be fairly straightforward…!

I often hear the question “Stan – you’re stunningly brilliant in every way.  I aspire to be you.  What tiny steps can I take to become a fraction of what you are?!?”  (OK – I may only hear this in my head, but that’s just semantic details.)

Well – firstly, I would encourage you to emulate, or better, my (mainly) Microsoft-powered Home Cinema setup.

Mostly upgraded at the beginning of the year, it’s taken me this long to give all the various components a mention (and also to encourage you to spend money with Microsoft by purchasing pointless, materialistic tangibles you don’t actually need).

(You may wish to click the image for a full-blown, high-res description).  Going through the essential stuff you need:

HD TV: Get yourself an HD TV capable of the full 1080p – none of this horsing around with wannabe HD (i.e. 720i, 720p, 1080i).  You’re a loser if you get anything less, and I will mock you (more so than usual).  The fine example you see before you is the Sony BRAVIA KDL-46X3500.  If you’re going for a Sony – get nothing less than an X-series.

Windows Media Center: Sure, you can access your media on much inferior machines, but what’s the point of having eyes, eh?  Demand to access your photos, music and videos on nothing less than a box capable of running Windows Media Center (part of Windows Vista).  This particular example is a Sony VAIO VGX-TP2.  It has a built-in digital Freeview tuner and Blu-Ray Disc player.  This diminutively squat cylinder can record a fair chunk of my TV shows, and sync them to either my Zune or Tablet PC for viewing.  Blu-ray is also cool – anything but HD makes my eyes weep blood these days…

XBOX 360: Any model is fine, but the sexy-looking black Elite model is best.  The XBOX 360 is pretty much like magic/voodoo/witchcraft – it creates fantasy-worlds for you where you can run about shooting annoying people, saving you the hassle of having to do it in real life (which is wayyy more tiring).

Network Switch: Although you could do everything over wireless, it’s far to slow.  Get a gigabit switch.  The example here is an HP ProCurve 1800-8G Switch.  Why gigabit?  It allows you to transfer music and video in super-speedy time, and also allows far faster backups of my two “fun” PCs.  More about that in a sec…

Windows Home Server: What goes in the workplace, should go in the home too.  You have running water in the office, right?  Then you’ll need running water at home.  Work has electricity, yeah?  Then your home needs one too.  Finally – your office has a server, right?  Then you’ll need a Windows Home Server too, unless you’re a hobo and don’t actually have a home.  This model is an HP MediaSmart Server, with 1 terabyte of storage.  What’s the space for you ask?  Well, I’ve spent the last five years on the Internet collecting donkey-porn, and need to make sure that it’s all safe and backed up.  Nothing worse than having a hard disk failure on my Tablet PC and losing all that hot equidae action.  So – amongst publishing all the RandomStan photos online, the Windows Home Server also backs up everything from my Windows Media Center and my Tablet PC, just in case a hard drive decides to play silly bugger.

Sky HD: Sky.  In HD.  Simple, really.  Alas, it is broadcast in inferior, wannabe HD (720p or 1080i).  Still semi-HD, then, so it does tend to make the eyes water (but not bleed).

DVD & HDD Recorder: Like myself, you probably have a lot of old-hat DVDs kicking around.  You obviously don’t want to sully your Blu-Ray Disc player with eternal shame by stuffing a DVD into its slot, so you elect to keep a separate DVD player instead.  You also think that recording is clever, and you may want an HDD to do that.  My particular model is like.no.other. (Actually – that’s a clever Sony marketing slogan lie.  It’s actually like all the other hundreds of thousands that run off Sony’s production line.)

Nintendo 64: If you haven’t got one, then you’re not a real gamer.  It is host to Super Mario 64.  Enough said.

Nintendo Wii: If you haven’t got one, then you’re not a real gamer.  It is host to Super Mario Galaxy.  Enough said.

VCR: Strictly, you don’t need one.  I certainly don’t.  But – it helpfully fills an otherwise empty space.

Nintendo GameCube: If you haven’t got one, then you’re not a real gamer.  It was host to Super Mario Sunshine.  Actually, when compared to Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Galaxy, it was a bit pants (but still a good game in its own right).  OK – I concede on that one – despite not owning a GameCube, you may still be eligible as a real gamer.

AV Amp: I have an old example, so you should have no problems bettering me!  Hah – I specified and bought this model while I was still in secondary school!  If I stopped driving for a week and saved the petrol money, I would buy a proper AV amp capable of decoding Dolby TrueHD and DTS-HD.

That’s about it, really.  Oh – don’t skimp on the furniture either – the example in the photo is a Quadraspire QAV stand (custom-specified and assembled).  Quadraspire make great units – even Jesus (before his days as “Son of God”, when he was still but a humble carpenter) couldn’t fashion better units.

Well?  Toddle off, and strive to become more like me.  Send me photos and details of your handiwork!

I didn’t realise that Microsoft had revamped the Xbox.com site!

It’s got a very nice fuzzy-soft consumer feel to it.

Lately, Microsoft have been trying very hard to partially rebrand themselves as a nicer, fuzzy-soft sort of company (rather than the Evil Empire image it has garnered of recent times).

OK – I personally thought the Seinfeld adverts were somewhat confusing.  But I’m happy with the stance that they raised awareness of Microsoft and Windows (the brand), rather than try to actively sell Windows Vista or whatever.  See for yourself:

• Gates & Seinfeld: Shoe Circus
• Gates & Seinfeld: New Family (part 1)
• Gates & Seinfeld: New Family (part 2)

What I do like (and very much so) is Microsoft’s (admittedly late) response to Apple’s “Get a Mac” adverts.  Apple have taken great delight in smugly portraying the PC as somehow inferior to the Mac.

The first part of Microsoft’s two-pronged response is the I’m a PC campaign:

Yes – each of those images is a photo or video of someone who is proud to be a PC.  There’s also a TV campaign airing at the moment:

• I’m a PC: Stereotype
• I’m a PC: Not Alone
• I’m a PC: Pride

What’s also cool is that Microsoft have taken two massive electronic billboards at Times Square to feature photos of everyone who is a PC (photos submitted through their I’m a PC site).

The second prong to the campaign to portray Microsoft as a fuzzy-soft huggable company is the Windows vs Walls campaign.

For you anti-Microsoft folk, you may not have realised that the Windows brand has broadened dramatically.  Windows is no longer just an Operating System for the PC.  It is your mobile, and it is the cloud (through Windows Live).  I don’t think there is any other single company out there that offers the richness of the “Windows Experience”.  PC, Media Center, Home Server, mobile, Windows Live – they are all interconnected.  Apparently pictures speak a thousand words (which is probably true for the illiterate degenerates that schools produce these days – children are lucky to string two words together, never mind a thousand of them).  So look at the campaign pictures here…

Watch this: http://uk.youtube.com/experiencewii

I have to admit, this is a very clever bit of marketing… :)

Ahh… It’s great when Branding and Reality don’t get along with each other.

Furthering the news that the next version of Windows was called “Windows 7”, I see some further clarification has appeared.

Yes, the PRODUCT will be Windows 7.

However, the version number of the product itself will be… wait for it… Windows 6.1.

I see the logic, sort of, but it will surely confuse everyone else.  Following the convention that Win 98, Win98 SE and WinME are point-version upgrades of Windows 95 makes sense (as the architectural code base was the same).  Likewise for the relationship between Windows 2000 (v5.0) and Windows XP (v5.1).

Vista was indeed a generational change from XP, so can really be classed as v6.0.  And as Windows 7 is a point-version upgrade of Windows Vista it does, in a perverse sense, logically follow that the version is 6.1.

Indeed – I had sent an e-mail to a client earlier today stating:

“As a last thought – I should emphasise that Windows 7 will be an update of Windows Vista and not a whole OS re-write.  Microsoft generally follow a “tick-tock” plan, where a major re-engineering only comes about every second iteration of a product.  It has been made very clear by Microsoft that Windows 7 builds upon Windows Vista, rather than being a re-write.  As such – many of the design decisions for Windows Vista will remain (albeit tweaked or enhanced) for Windows 7.”

So – it does all make sense, in a logical fashion.  However, I can see the avalanche of confusion rolling in.  Not to mention uncertainty for the future – will Windows v7 (probably due 2013-2015) be called Windows 8?  Or Windows VII (pronounced “Vee”) to help reset the numbering scheme?

If you haven’t already heard, then the next version of Windows (the seventh major generation) will be called…

Windows 7

Yes.  That is all.  If you’re excited about stuff like the EULA, it will shortly appear here:

http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-7/eula.aspx

If you’re looking for the official announcement, details are here: http://windowsvistablog.com/blogs/windowsvista/archive/2008/10/13/introducing-windows-7.aspx

Personally, I like it.  I never really agreed with using years to name products (as the year-names were based on which part of Microsoft’s financial year a product was released) and thus you had scenarios where products were “from the future” (as an example, Office 2007 was actually released to businesses back in calendar year 2006) or other scenarios where products seemed years out of date (again, using Office, we were at the 2003 version until late 2006!).

“Fluffy” names were not much better – I still get asked now what XP stands for (technically it didn’t stand for anything, but was used to emphasise the eXPerience of the new OS), and people still don’t quite know how to pronounce Vista (is it Vee-sta or V-is-ta? – the Microsoft teams that I worked with prior to the launch of the product generally called it by the latter).

So anyway – here’s to Windows 7.  If you really need the year as a hint to when it will be released, I will give you the official line.

“To this end, our plan is to deliver Windows 7 approximately 3 years after the January 2007 general availability launch date of Windows Vista.”

This has been the official line for some time now, and speculation that it may be (generally) released in early-to-mid 2009 is just that – speculation.

Cool!

What is Live Mesh?  Well, my flippant answer would be to tell you to go to the Live Mesh web site to find out for yourself.

Thankfully, I am (just like the rarely-seen-but-much-spoken-about God) quite a bit more magnanimous than that, and thought I’d take a moment to hark on about the virtues of Live Mesh.

In simple terms (so simple, in fact, that I’m probably doing Live Mesh a disservice – but more on that later), Live Mesh is an area in The Cloud where you upload files for storage and synchronisation.

Following on from that thought, the concept of The Mesh is that it is a combination of your storage on The Cloud (called in Live Mesh terms your “Live Desktop”) and all the computers and mobile devices (i.e. phones) that you have access to.

Live Mesh serves a few purposes:

1. To synchronise content from any one PC you use to your Live Desktop.  Content on your Live Desktop can be accessed from any computer or mobile device – all you need is a web browser (OS semantics later).
2. To synchronise content from your Live Desktop to any other device that you may have in your Mesh.
3. To access any of your Mesh devices remotely (in terms of starting a remote console to that device)

Live Mesh deals with synchronising your files automatically.  All you need to do is install the Live Mesh client on your device.  Currently, only Windows Vista, Windows XP and Windows Mobile devices are supported but, as you see in the screenshot below, Macs and other devices will soon be supported.  Check out my personal Mesh below:

Now – with the Live Mesh client installed, I can view what files have been updated/synchronised, which PCs are available, and what folders are currently active (and who is working on them).

The Live Mesh client automatically deals with all the data sync – and this happens in the background (and pretty much immediately).

Let me illustrate this by example…  I am an avid user of Microsoft OneNote (that’s a blog in itself for another day) and rely on it day-in, day-out to perform my work.  I work on OneNote over multiple PCs – each in different domains (WellDataTech.com, Burbank.co.uk and RandomStan.com) – so sharing the same set of notes is not the easiest thing.  However, marking the OneNote folder on my main Tablet PC as a Live Mesh folder causes the content to be synchronised to my Live Desktop.

As you mark folders for Live Mesh, they turn a distinct blue:

And when you open that folder (on your local machine), it opens up a Live Mesh sub-pane which shows the status of that folder (how many people can access it, which files have been updated recently, etc):

The contents of this folder is sent up to my Live Desktop on The Cloud, which I can then access from anywhere through a web browser:

One of the cool things is that any folder that sits on your Live Desktop can be synchronised to any other device that you own.  You simply tell it where that folder should sit on your nominated device:

Live Mesh will then create a folder in this location, and will sync files from your Live Desktop down to the new device.  Another cool thing is that Live Mesh will now keep the contents between your Mesh devices and the Live Desktop synchronised.

So – if I make a change to my OneNote notes on my main Tablet PC, then Live Mesh will automatically update my Live Desktop and any other devices that I have nominated.  Likewise, if I make a change in OneNote on, say, my Media Center PC at home (WMC), then Live Mesh will handle the update and ensure my main Tablet PC contains the latest working copy of my notes.

The other cool thing is that you can invite people to any of your Live Mesh folders:

These invitees will also be able to access your shared data, and will also be able to receive/contribute updates.  So, for instance, if I am working on a set of files that I need shared to someone out-with my company (i.e. someone not on the WellDataTech.com domain), then the easiest thing to do would be to create a Live Mesh folder to share.  They would receive an invite to my folder, and also the option to replicate the folder anywhere on their local PC.  As I update any file in this folder, the changes will trickle through to their copy, and vice-versa.  Thus, Live Mesh becomes a very powerful tool for sharing files in near real-time (there is a small delay in synchronisation – dependent on bandwidth available for both the uploads and downloads).

That’s pretty much a quick overview of Live Mesh.  Microsoft have some more information here.

I also said, earlier, that this was going to be a very simple overview, and that I’d probably be doing Live Mesh a disservice.  The reason for that is because Live Mesh is very much a platform for developers, and not a mere “clever-sync” service.  Live Mesh has an SDK that allows you to create some fairly clever applications that really demonstrate the Software+Services model that Microsoft are pushing at the moment.

If you’re a developer, and you want to see what Live Mesh can do as a platform, then register your interest here…

Surely, in the most logical sense ever, a combination of two good things equals a good thing?

Logic, alas, appears to have escaped my work mates in the office.

For today, I posited that combining two good things – Tartare Sauce and HobNobs, would surely create a fantastic taste sensation.

I was somewhat disappointed that they looked at me in utter dismay as I demonstrated how easy it was to create new culinary delights…

Happily, I can confirm for definite that the combination of two good things does indeed equal another good(er) thing.

The fact that the naysayers in my office are of the opinion that I am completely insane is just either proof of their inability to “think outside the box”, or a sign of their jealousy as they realise how unadventurous their own palates have become.

It looks like you need to be more than just mildly drunk to get a moment of clarity – perhaps a combination of alcohol and drugs or something.  My much-needed epiphany still eludes me at this stage…

Still – we’ve had a productive day yesterday, a moderate amount of alcohol (in the process discovering that King Cobra is one of the few beers that I actually enjoy) and a fantastic Saturday-night curry.

Following on I’ve just had a fantastically lazy morning, where all the loose ends have been closed out and there is a reasonably optimistic plan for moving forwards.

At this stage I’m sitting lazily in the sofa, comfily wrapped up in my jim-jams and sleeping blanket, trying to muster the energy to get changed and head out for some brunch.

Yes.  I am currently content with life… :)  Happy days!

Yes…  So we’re a bit drunk, and we’re trying to get finances covered…  Highlights are:

“You’re going to have a shit 30th birthday – I’m not coming to that!”

“The death of your mother is the only scenario where shareholdings would be affected – it’s not as if you’re going to fall out with her and fight for control of the company.”

“What you need to do is get married, have kids, wait until they grow to 18, then give them ownership of your subsidiary.  Then you place the shareholding in a trust fund (so that they can’t simply sell it off).”

“AIDS!”

“AIDS!” [As expressed by frantic physical gesturing]

“You’re stressing about something worth less than the front brakes of my car.”

“Yes.  I’m a dick.  And I enjoy being a dick.”

Indeed… :)

I’m in the process of doing a cash flow forecast for the next 6 to 12 months.

In an effort to make boring financial nonsense more fun, we have made a resolution to drink a shot of whisky every time something negative or depressing is encountered.

This should make the day (and financials) a more joyful affair.

Secretly, I’m waiting for an epiphany to occur – these things usually do when you take things much less seriously!  :)